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Oct. 2006
Table of Contents
Ignorance Ain't Bliss: Consumer Responsibility, an essay by Andrea Syzdek
QUIT!, an essay by Josh Lile
Badass Woman of the Month: Billie Jean King, an essay by Andrea Syzdek
Rx Bandits: Masters of Art and Politics, a music review by Andrea Syzdek
Statues, a short story by Alex Howe
this is the world, a poem by Andrea Syzdek
Ignorance Ain't Bliss: Consumer Responsibility
Andrea Syzdek I'm going to start off by asking a simple question: when you're shopping, how often do you check to see what company owns the product you are about to purchase? Now I want to ask a complicated question: as an American consumer, is it your job to know exactly what you're buying? Who is getting your money? Is it being put to good use? I could list lots of corporations who have made tons of money destroying the environment, taking advantage of struggling developing countries, exploiting workers and entire communities, closing down small businesses and putting their own customers' health at risk. I'm not going to do that. Greedy, blood-sucking corporations have been around long enough for most of us to understand that they exist. I believe the bigger problem isn't the fact these companies get away with this type of behavior, but rather, that as consumers, we say to ourselves, "there's nothing I can do about it. I'm just one person." People have given themselves every reason to believe that they are helpless when it comes to fighting corrupt corporations. While I understand this reasoning, I feel it is faulty logic. I am a fairly optimistic person and I believe that a little awareness, a little education and a little planning can go a long way. Let's assume that you know absolutely nothing about corporations except that they make lots of money and provide some kind of product that you either want or need. Let's also assume that you are interested in becoming a more responsible shopper. To start off, I think there are a lot of practical things you can do to educate yourself that don't require you to become an economist or a self-sufficient maker of numerous items: 1. Make a list: I think this is a great thing to do if you have no idea about anything corporation-related. After you've gone to the store or done some sort of shopping, go through every item you've purchased and write down the corporation you bought it from. By doing this, you'll begin to see that a lot of the things you buy all come from a handful of the same corporations. For example, Pringles chips are owned by Procter and Gamble, and Dove Products are owned by Dial. Once you've done this, you'll have a good idea of which corporations are which. 2. Visit a Whole Foods Market: The reason why I suggest this is because I think everyone should know what organic food tastes like. We've been eating food that's chemically-treated and hormone-injected for so long we don't know what it would taste like otherwise. Also, you will be exposed to a plethora of organic products that are made by local growers and manufacturers who are environmentally and socially aware. Going to a whole foods store is much different from going to Wal-Mart. 3. Read Food/Ingredients Labels: You might not think this is related to consumer responsibility, but it really is. As Americans, we've been poisoned by food and non-food products that are absolutely bad for us. Most of us would agree that we live off of fast food, hygiene and cosmetics products that aren't necessarily good for us, but I think a lot of us feel like we have no other options available to us. A good way to educate yourself is to know EXACTLY what it is you're buying. Go to Wal-Mart and look at the labels of a few things you buy regularly, then go to a whole foods store and look at those same items: 9 times out of 10 there will be a difference, I promise. 5. Be Responsible: This country has fallen in love with two ideas: convenience and ignorance. We don't want to know where something came from, how something was made or what something will do to us, we just want it as fast as possible with as little effort as possible. We are screwing ourselves over by ascribing to that kind of attitude. We don't want to know about the hundreds of female Malaysian workers who burned to death in a factory that was owned by Disney because they locked the doors on the workers to keep them from stealing the stuffed animals they were assembling. Things like that make us feel guilty and helpless. We need to realize that we aren't helpless and that guilt only keeps us from acting. Accepting responsibility will help us to be more conscious of the decisions we make as consumers. 6. Recognize Our Power: I think a lot of responsibility comes along with the realization that as consumers, we actually have a lot of power. We've forgotten that things are marketed to us for a reason: we're either going to buy something or we're not going to buy something and corporations benefit and suffer at the hand of our very decision to buy or not to buy. We've become passive consumers rather than active ones. Corporations need to prove to US why WE should buy THEIR product. Their profits come from our hard-earned money. The majority of these corporations haven't done a very good job of showing us that we'll be making an informed, economically/socially/environmentally conscious decision by purchasing their products. They rely on our inability to see past our credit cards and debit cards and our desire for convenient/fashionably appealing merchandise. 7. Learn to Value Individuality: People typically believe that nothing will ever get accomplished if we aren't unified. I think this is true to a certain extent. Corporations won't take one person seriously, but they'll take an entire nation of people seriously. Still, this doesn't mean individuality doesn't matter. It DOES. When you began to see that the decisions you make as an individual make a difference in your immediate, daily life, I think chances are good that you will become more confident in your decision-making skills and overall well-being. Like I said, I'm an optimistic person, and I truly believe you can't make a difference in this world if you lack the ability to think for yourself. Unity works, but it won't if people don't have a sense of individuality. Co-op America If you still feel like I've talked your ear off and haven't showed you any reasonable way in which to become a more responsible consumer, then I offer one last piece of advice: www.coopamerica.org This is a site I came across recently that is dedicated to educating people about what corrupt corporations mean for humanity and helping consumers to understand that there are little things that can be done to change the present state of corporate dominance. In a summary (taken from the site), this is what the non-profit organization does: * We help people in their roles as consumers, investors, business owners, homeowners, community activists, teachers, people of faith, children and parents, to take both personal and collective action that promotes positive social and environmental progress. Together, these people are growing the market for green products, promoting renewable energy, promoting fair wages and fair trade, and building healthy communities here and abroad. * We focus on economic strategies to address social and environmental problems. * We help people say NO to companies that hurt people and the planet and say YES to companies that are truly making a difference. * We find solutions-not just problems. * We work on both social AND environmental issues. We see this as completely linked. It's what we mean by "green." * We work to stop harmful and abusive practices AND build new models for a sustainable future, such as promoting fair trade, renewable energy and community investing. * We work in partnership with allies to have the highest possible impact. The aims of this organization should be the aims of every human being, American or not. I don't believe any of the goals listed above are too far-fetched or "idealistic." This is all simple, common sense stuff that everyday people can help to achieve by living a life of social awareness and responsibility. If we remain a selfish, ignorant nation of people, we run the risk of self-destruction in the sense that we will be raising even more selfish, ignorant children and we will be welcoming even more hostility from other nations.I think getting involved and starting more organizations like Co-op America will benefit us and future generations, and will also give us more credibility as a nation that claims to be progressive and humanitarian. If you want more evidence of what Co-op America can do, here is a list of things they have accomplished so far: Co-op America is leading the way toward a more just and sustainable society. Together we have: * Directed over $100 million in purchases to socially and environmentally responsible businesses that are the core of the living economy. * Channeled over $500 million in investments to community development financial institutions, including banks, credit unions, and loan funds. * Played a leadership role in a campaign to pressure Procter & Gamble, the largest coffee company in the US to convert 5% of their Millstone coffee line to Fair Trade Certified, thereby steering more fair trade revenues to coffee farmers in crisis. * Played a leadership role in persuading CitiGroup to remove predatory lending products from the market through our Community Investing Campaign. * Organized the consumer voice that helped pressure 22 of the largest clothing retailers to adopt anti-sweatshop standards. * Played a key role in successfully organizing investors to encourage the SEC to require mutual funds to disclose their voting on social and environmental resolutions. Co-op America doesn't merely go after problematic corporations. They work hard to promote the corporations that do everything possible to run a socially aware, environment-friendly business. They are interested in educating and assisting consumers in making the best purchasing decisions possible. I would strongly encourage anyone who reads this to go to their website. Not only do they have a list of companies that you should watch out for and demand more honest business from, they have a list of companies that are worth buying from. Additionally, they sponsor many different programs that work to ensure a better world and they do it all with donations from concerned individuals, organizations and companies. I think it's time that we stop justifying our inaction with the excuse that we are helpless. On the contrary, we are lazy and have grown accustomed to convenience and immediate gratification. As a self-proclaimed optimist, I am positive that a little awareness and education can do a lot to improve the condition of the world. Let's turn off our TVs and our ipods and sign off of our Myspace pages long enough to do a little research and active participation in a global economy that we benefit the most from. There isn't any freedom in corporate domination and environmental ruin like a lot of politicians and ruling elites would like us to believe. There is no freedom in obesity and health conditions from fast food and chemically-treated foods. There is no freedom in name brand clothes that are made from disfranchised workers who get paid a couple of dollars a week or sometimes nothing at all. There is no freedom in ignorance, no matter how blissful it may seem.
QUIT!
Josh Lile 1. An immediate end to the military occupation of Palestine and
evacuation of all illegal Israeli settlements in the West Bank
(including East Jerusalem) and Gaza;
2. Equal civil and political rights for all in Israel and Palestine;
3. Israeli compliance with UN Resolution 194, recognizing the right
of Palestinians to return to their homes;
4. Until the above are realized, end all U.S. aid to Israel.
Everyone has heard something similar before on TV or in a newspaper somewhere. This could be from any public interest group that has an interest in human rights, war, peace, or racism blaming Israel for the problems in the Middle East. The unique aspect of this statement is that it comes from the QUIT! (Queers Undermining Israeli Terrorism) website. This is the homosexual group that claims it wants to end Israeli terrorism against Palestinians. The above demands are not all of the groups stated demands, but they come from http://www.ektaonline.org/~quitpale/actions/gaymen2.html , which is an article about the group’s stance on the Palestinian persecution of 3 homosexual people. They have more demands listed on their main site, among them: Israel end its racist harassment policies, an end to the Israeli occupation of Palestine, and ending investment in anything to do with Israel. Is there a legitimate reason for QUIT’s anger? If they as a group do have a legitimate reason to be angry, or even appalled, with the actions of Israel do they accurately represent the situation in the area? And quite possibly the most important question of all: How do the nations of the Middle East view homosexuality, and how would a Palestinian state, that they support, treat homosexuals?
The first question to tackle is the legitimacy of QUIT’s claims towards Israel. Their main claim against Israel is that of a major human rights violator. QUIT claims that Israel created refugees and refuses to let them come home in violation of international law as stated in their 3rd demand at the top of the page. So let’s examine Resolution 194 of the United Nations that QUIT cites. Resolution 194 calls for free access to the Palestinian holy places, Jerusalem as an international city, asks the governments involved to build the area up economically, and allow refugees to be able to return home. The problem here is that Resolution 194 is a General Assembly resolution which means it isn’t binding. It led to Resolution 242 which is binding. Resolution 242 calls for the return of refugees to their homes, for Israel to withdraw from the occupied territories (Gaza, Golan Heights, and the West Bank), and for belligerent nations to recognize Israel as a state. So while Israel may not be upholding the resolution that matters, number 242, neither are their neighboring Arab states. None of their neighbors except Jordan and Egypt recognize them as a state. On top of that, the Arab states have created Jewish refugees, but they don’t allow them to come home either. Why doesn’t QUIT acknowledge that neither side follows the resolution?
Now to the question of Israel giving equal rights to its Jewish and Muslim citizens; is it valid? Here are a few facts compiled by Dr. Mitchell Bard, a foreign policy analyst that runs the Jewish Virtual Library:
1. Israel is one of the few states in the Middle East where women can vote
2. The only right Arabs are denied is the right to join the Israel Army. That is to keep them from being forced to fight against their brethren, and to keep them from deserting in mid battle.
3. Israel is the only Middle Eastern nation where the Christian population has grown in the past 50 years.
4. Arabic, along with Hebrew, is a national language in Israel.
5. The economic gap between the two is partially due to Arabs not being in the military. Veterans receive extra benefits.
Dr. Bard has gone through and cited his source to prove his points. Does equal treatment mean forcing Arabs to fight against their Arab brethren when Israel’s neighbors threaten to attack next? Considering the status that minorities have held in the United States for years, and are just now slowly coming out of, how can QUIT criticize Israel for trying to incorporate Arabs, people who could belong to warring parties, in everyday society?
QUIT’s claims against Israel’s treatment have all but been refuted. Now what about the group they claim to support, the Palestinians? The PLO (Palestinian Liberation Organization) has the same goal as their fundamentalist Islamic counterparts: to wipe the Zionist Entity (Israel) off the map. They share virtually every single goal of each other member. So how would QUIT’s apparent allies view homosexuality? There are only 3 countries in the Middle East where homosexuality is legal: Egypt, Israel, and Jordan. Egypt and Jordan are also the only states that have peace agreements with Israel. Every other Middle Eastern state, with the exception of Iraq (who has a stance that is too young to determine since the government isn’t stable), has laws against homosexuality. Fundamentalist states like Iran even execute homosexuals. Why would a homosexual rights organization ally with states like this? Not only do they ally with them, but they justify the Palestinian abuse of homosexuals. This is the QUIT response to the reported torturing of three homosexuals by the PLO:
“However, the story about the three Palestinian men is being used by pro-Israeli gay organizations to suggest that the military occupation of Palestine is justified by anti-gay oppression within Palestinian society. We are outraged by this cynical response to the stories……….Palestine is by no means unique in being a place where gay people are threatened, abused or tortured by the police.”
Does this statement even make sense? QUIT blames their brethren in Israel for trying to legitimate Israel’s existence (occupation of Palestine, not the West Bank/Gaza/Golan Heights) by saying they treat homosexuals better than Palestine. On top of that QUIT justifies the oppression of homosexuals by the PLO by saying they aren’t the only people to oppress homosexuals. So because they aren’t the only ones doing it makes it right? What about the fact that Israel isn’t the only nation that isn’t following Resolution 242? Does that logic make that situation ok also?
The QUIT organization claims that it wants justice. What is justice? The Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines it as being impartial or fair. How can distorting the truth this much move towards justice? Not only are the “facts” from their site misleading, but they are irresponsible. In a nation like the United States, where unbiased information is hard to come-by, an organization like QUIT has a responsibility to its constituents to provide fair accounts of the events going on. There are many other events I could discuss, but after a point it gets redundant. Hopefully this simple essay that took a mere two hours of internet research can open a mind or two to the Antisemitism that is running rampant across the world today in the period the distinguished Antisemitism professor Dr. Eunice Pollack calls “a repeat of 1930’s appeasement.” There is no reason why people shouldn’t be able to inform themselves with a little bit of initiative.
Badass Woman of the Month: Billie Jean King
Andrea Syzdek For those who aren't intensely educated in the subject of sports, Billie Jean King is arguably one of the best female tennis players ever. She has won 12 Grand Slam singles titles, 14 Grand Slam women's doubles titles, and 11 Grand Slam mixed doubles titles. The reason why I have chosen her as this month's badass woman is because not only has King been an outspoken advocate against sexism in sports, she is has proven that women are capable athletically, even against men. Additionally, she was a strong suppoter of Title IX and spoke out against corruption in tennis during the 1960s that ensured elitist control. One of the most memorable moments during her career was when she defeated Bobby Riggs in a "battle of the sexes" match in 1973 (in the Astrodome). Riggs is a former Wimbelton men's champion and also had the privilege of being the world's number one tennis player in 1941, 1946 and 1947. I don't think she's badass simply because she beat a man. I don't consider the match to be a battle of the sexes, but instead, I feel like she paved the way for all female athletes. She showed the world that women aren't inferior physically and that maybe, just maybe, men and women could compete against each other. In this day in age, girls have so few women athletes to look up to, and it's unfortunate that someone like Billie Jean King isn't as highly regarded and respected as an athlete the way that men are. I didn't even know who she was until I saw a documentary about her a few months ago. I regret not knowing about her in my younger days. Despite the fact that in 1975 Seventeen magazine voted her the most admired women and in 1990 Life magazine listed her as one of "the 100 most important Americans in the 20th Century," more young girls and more young guys should be familiar with who she is. She is a talented, dignified woman who stood up against corruption and sexism in tennis and society and she proved her competence as an athlete. Therefore, she is badass. The end. Rx Bandits: Masters of Art and Politics
Andrea Syzdek Am I crazy because I wanna touch your skin? Is it ludicrous that I've got nothing to believe in that was built by human hands or controlled by demand? So if love is true, let's burn the factory, take off your shoes it's time for dancin' I believe in the art of music; I believe that songs can just be songs, plain and simple. I believe that music can be enjoyed at face value and that there are plenty of bands who excel at entertaining listeners. Rx Bandits are not one of those bands. Granted, their music is full of pleasant hooks and catchy vibes, but they are much more than that. They are complex and I love them for that reason. They practice what they preach and they struggle in the shadows of the dominating mainstream "punk" elite. Their style is difficult to pin down, but they could be classified as punk/indie/ska or even "experimental reggae." Nevertheless, in my opinion, Rx Bandits are one of the most talented "newer" acts that have come out on the ska/punk scene in quite some time. For the past six years, this band has said a mouthful and has backed up every word with action after action. After spending a significant amount of years at Drive-Thru Records, they decided to start their own label, MDB Records and made their latest album …And the Battle Begun one of its first releases. For their recent tour, instead of staying in hotels, they slept in the homes of fans. They are anti-trendy, great practitioners of the D.I.Y. ethic, and a few of them are dedicated vegans. In their music they emphasize the importance of social and political consciousness and discuss what it means to live in consumer-driven, pill-popping America. During a time where Christian fundamentalists have taken over the punk scene and redefined it as a genre full of self-centered white middle class angst and heart ache, bands like Rx Bandits are a refreshing flipside to a scene induced with self-righteous attitudes and marketable fashion trends. What makes …And the Battle Begun such a great album is that the band did a very good job of experimenting with the ska/reggae sound. It has a wild indie flare to it, but it's also full of energy and intensity. One of my favorite aspects of the album is the use of the organ. The organ has always had a place in ska bands, but Rx Bandits give it a different feel in their newest album. Just about every song on this album is unique and well-done. It's obvious that this band's D.I.Y. approach to music has only enhanced their sound and identity in a time when a lot of musicians have become nothing more than spokesmen for fashion and triviality. Another aspect about this band that I love is their feminist ideologies. Strong female musician role models are hard to come by and oftentimes bands have a lack of consciousness when it comes to women's issues. Women are used for sex appeal or marketing tools in music videos, cover art or advertisements. Additionally, there is a large teenage female audience that only see themselves playing out the role of the passive chick fan. They are not encouraged to MAKE music, but rather, are encouraged to be bystanders while musicians sing and play AT them, FOR them. Rx Bandits are one of the few bands who preach the importance of feminist issues and female empowerment. In their previous album The Resignation, they encouraged girls to throw their makeup away and to accept themselves as who they are. In their newest album, they are critical of the female as a sex object. It is rare to come across an all-male band that would endorse feminism and I find it inspiring and living proof that not all men are perpetrators in a system of sexism and oppression. In a song called "To Our Unborn Daughters" they proclaim: They thrust you their products by making you feel insecure the matriarch was murdered and now woman is a four letter word Put a price on your body to convince you that it's all you're worth they are afraid of the power they lose and the gift of creation so don't you ever listen! There are a lot of other great lyrical moments in this album as well. In "Tainted Wheat" they mock American society's ignorance and naïveté about a process of manipulation and domination that is forced upon them daily: The first step's called education, next chapter is assimilation We keep you pacified so you will follow It's a stand in line conglomerate in a bigot worship mortuary We keep you satisfied so you will swallow… Next we bring intimidation, social status segregation where you all justify and play consumer fear works further toward division, indiscriminate spastic decisions we keep you paranoid, so you can't struggle There are also plenty of songs on this album that aren't filled with deep political messages. "Only for the Night" "Apparition" and "1980" have a more emotional, romantic tone to them that Rx Bandits are always successful at pulling off. I don't think that all music has to have some heavy intellectual message to it, but I feel like Rx Bandits are one of the few bands who can pull it off without sounding redundant. They are artistic AND political and their music is proof that the two can work together beautifully. I would also recommend buying their previous two albums Progress and The Resignation. Each one is different from the other, but it's still Rx Bandits through and through. Statues
Alex Howe
Running his hands over the cold marble skin of his statue, Michael felt both a swell of pride and anger growing from deep in his chest and throat. It radiated hotly out of his skin, prompting little beads of sweat to grow on his pale, bare forearms. The basement of his small house served as a studio. Above ground, there was everything you’d expect to find in a home – a living room with a TV, a stereo and a shelf of CD’s; a kitchen full of cooking utensils and appliances; a bathroom with a toothbrush, an electric razor, a bar of soap next to the sink, and so on. But this was only the surface. His true sanctuary was down the flight of stairs next to the hall closet. When he finished a piece, he would set it on a pedestal, if it was small enough, or place it in the center of the room on a square of velvet. If it was a painting, which he seldom felt the inclination to produce, it would remain propped up on an easel, the light angled to hit the center of the canvas, showing it off for none to see. He had turned off all of the lights, save for the spotlight he had installed in the very center of the room, directly above his work. It was on now, illuminating a white circle on the barren, gray concrete floor. The walls and corners remained in a thick darkness, not receiving enough indirect light to reveal the cabinets, shelves and workbenches that Michael had built himself. All the tools of an artist were hidden back in the dark – paints, brushes, clay, blocks of wood and marble, chisels, empty canvas – the only things graced by the light were the small sculpture and the hands of the god who had created it. This is what people would see, Michael thought to himself. Maybe…They might see the finished product, were I to let them this time. But I doubt they would ever see the hands and tools that carved it. Or what went into it. Their gratification is an instant. Mine is a process. People always talk about an “overnight success”, but there’s really no such thing. No one is born being able to play the piano or write great poetry…they have to take time and devote their entire life just to learn. The artist circled his statue as if he were a patron admiring it in a museum. Unlike any regular appreciator or critic, his eyes locked on the pale bluish white figure of the woman stepping out on top of the wave’s crest. He looked at it the same way someone might gaze at a sleeping lover or their child. He let his hand linger on the cold marble, tracing the gentle undulations of the wave. The statue’s face was tranquil and beautiful. Her head was angled up, facing a sun outside the slate colored walls and ceiling of the basement. Her lips were parted slightly and her eyes were seeing some sky of a different world. It was always this moment that made him the saddest. A weak restlessness seized up in his hands, making him ball them into tight fists to hide their trembling from him. He loved this piece, he had loved all the time and energy he had spent chiseling it out of the block of marble. It had been difficult due to the size and amount of detail Michael had demanded, from her calm, open eyes to the toes on her feet to the foam on the wave under her. The thought that ran through his head seemed strange and unpleasant mixed against his feelings towards this statue. The experiences he had at art exhibitions always left a sour aftertaste on his memories. ******** Michael remained on the fringes of the crowd, but never took his eyes off the two pieces for which he had finally managed to obtain a display. One was a clay sculpture of a woman dancing – one leg anchored solidly to the ground, making a straight line of her body, the other leg frozen in motion, swinging around her in wild euphoria, arms thrown into the air, celebrating the movement of dance. The other was a painting of a large crowd of people on a busy city street during the day. They were all rushing somewhere – heads down, hands buried deep into pockets, eyes downcast or hidden under hats. All but one man. He stood still, eyes wide open, head level, shoulders back, his lips sealed tightly into a grim line. The throng moved around him as he stood there, seemingly in another place entirely, alone in this mob. While he was painting this, Michael had felt more connected to it than most of his other endeavors. But now, watching the other artists, patrons and dealers bustle around, passing his work without giving it a second or even first glance, he felt an even stronger bond with his art. He became his painting. A portly man with lazy, narrowed eyes, a moustache and red cheeks, dressed in an expensive suit was guided to Michael’s display by one of the dealers. He stood for a moment, casually sipping from a glass of champagne, examining in a detached air the two works before him. Michael felt a nervous hope wedge itself in his stomach. He could see the dealer speaking to the man, but couldn’t hear the exact words over the commotion around him. He edged closer to the exhibition. “Yes, well, I am simply looking for some décor for the minor rooms of my house,” he droned loudly, taking another sip from his champagne flute. “You know, something to occupy the bare space on my bathroom or kitchen walls.” The portly man’s eyes lingered on the painting of the man in the crowd. Upon hearing this, Michael’s hope became uneasy. “Do I trust him? Do I really want someone like him to buy this?” he thought. He picked his way around the people walking by him, stopping just close enough to hear the dealer inform the portly man that the artist was present, in case he would like to meet him, perhaps to negotiate a price. The man snorted in response. “Why would I want to talk to an artist? I’m just looking for something to ornament the wall next to shower.” No, Michael thought. Not you. I spent weeks alone with this. I love this painting more than anything I’ve ever done and I would rather see it be destroyed than sell it to you. “I’ll take it.” The man’s voice broke Michael’s stream of thoughts. The dealer nodded in confirmation and went over the buying procedure. Michael took one last look at his painting and walked away. ********* For a long time, Michael had always asked himself “What now?” after finishing something. If someone purchased it, he felt like it was no longer his. It was like he was selling his soul piece by piece, to be kept behind a velvet rope or inside a glass case in someone else’s house. However, this rarely occurred. Most of his sculptures and paintings went unsold, passed over by the discerning eyes of those in a position to buy art and thus deemed socially unimportant and artistically unacceptable. This produced a mixture of emotions and thoughts in him. He was happy that he was allowed to hold onto a creation a little while longer. On the other hand, some of the unsold pieces had been some of his proudest moments as an artist. Why could no one else see them? Why could he not reason with the art dealers and auctioneers and convince them to look for what he saw? The process was over. All Michael could do was retire and awake the next day to create another statue, only to turn around and try to sell it to another art dealer whose squinting, moving eyes he didn’t trust. And then he thought of a solution. Perhaps imperfect, but one that left him satisfied: stop living as a struggling, unknown artist. Stop trying to make money selling yourself. Stop and accept that he would never be remembered. And if he was looked at with reverence past his own lifetime, would it even matter? What did fame do for him, as long as he still had to sell those material pieces of his own soul? Just stop and let it all go. Stop worrying about everything else and focus on what you can do. The idea felt a little strange at first, like a new pair of shoes that haven’t had enough time to be broken to the contours of your feet. Of course it was strange, going against all he had ever strived for and all he had ever been encouraged towards. But the more he played around with it and mused over it, watching it change with an attentive curiosity, the more at ease and comfortable he felt. Now, here in the moment, he stood gazing at the statue in the basement of his small house in a suburb on the outskirts of the city. He turned away from the centerpiece and retreated to a darkened corner of his workshop and picked up a self-developing camera. Standing at various distances and angles from the sculpture, he began taking pictures. The polaroids slid out of the camera and collected in a trail on the floor as he worked his way around the pedestal several times. After taking about a dozen pictures, Michael set the camera down and flipped on a small desk lamp mounted on the wall over a workbench. He studied them as they developed, watching the black of the polaroid fade to the distinct image of his little marble statue. He picked up a pen and documented the date under the photo, as well as several who’s meaning he was alone in fully understanding – “love”, “reverence”, “hope” - before dropping them one by one into a brown envelope with the date on the front. He opened the drawer to a file cabinet next to his desk and slid the envelope in behind several others just like, full of pictures of his previous efforts. With a smooth, ceaseless motion, he flicked the off switch and picked up the sledgehammer that lay propped up against the work bench. Not even giving the tool any consideration beyond the sense of touch, his gaze returned to the renewed focus of the room, the statue. His eyes were opened wide and the corners of his mouth tugged downward, set firmly in a tense but sad little frown. He swung the hammer violently across his body, thinking of the day he had conceived the idea for the statue and how happy it had made him and how much he looked forward to sculpting it. The steel head made contact with the heavy marble and he felt a hard shock travel up through the long, wooden handle and through his arms and shoulders, dissipating just under his collarbone. The statue cracked and toppled off its velvet seat, smashing against the floor with a single, sharp crack where it broke into pieces. Michael set the hammer down in its spot nest to the bench and walked over to where the statue had landed. “So life wasn’t exactly what I wanted,” he said calmly, kneeling next to its remains. “Maybe this is what it could have been.”
this is the world
Andrea Syzdek a boy wrote a poem about being drunk and screwing a fat girl at a halloween party. the professor asked, "why don't women write poems about doing fat men?" but he was very old and no one listened to him. there used to be fields full of howling coyotes, but they have been bulldozed. a unique pain can be experienced from watching a young bird being eaten alive by ants as it sits underneath a bright green bush and no longer chirps. they promise you that nothing else happens in the world except reality tv shows about accountants and teachers surviving in the wilderness, except people sliding their debit cards and being asked if they would like cash back. there is the smell of tortillas cooking somewhere. quiet things are happening in the ditches, in the alleys, underneath the bridges. the dumpsters are full of burnt-out light bulbs, half-eaten burgers, juice boxes sucked dry. a woman's nipples are being ripped from her body in a desert just outside of Juarez, but the dvd player she assembled is sitting safely in the suv of a loyal american taxpayer. I never proclaim to know whole truths. I'm only able to connect segments these days until I am holding one long string made up of smaller strings of different colors and sizes. they are knotted together and I'm holding them out to you. I'm standing on a street corner infested with cigarette butts and burger king cups and I'm showing them to you. "this is the world," I say, and you want to believe me. the fat girls are asking their doctors to staple their stomachs because they can't stand having another poem being written on their behalf by boys who see the rolls of flesh rather than the interesting shade of blue in their eyes. we gather up images of old navy commercials, steven spielberg movies, and desperate housewives in red stilettos and place them in a large wooden box with an american flag painted on the lid, but the box was built in Malaysia like the jungle book and 101 dalmatian stuffed animals that line our children's beds. I read poetry books in search of a heartbeat: the arteries of my homeland are clogged and I am on the street corner professing fragments with a small, frustrated voice. "this is the world," I say, and you want to believe me. you want to. | 
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